We're Not Hoarders, We're Thieves!
by Melon Massacre
Summary: Hisoka confronts the Troupe about the useless trash laying around their hideout.


` **So... this was some random idea me and my friend CarzyCickHAHA came up with today. Enjoy!**

The pattering of rain drowned out the sound of Nobunaga's snoring, but it couldn't drown out the yelling between Phinks, Feitan and Hisoka. The three stand in the middle of the large room where debris and miscellaneous stolen objects are stacked up to the ceiling. Around them, the Troupe members sit quietly trying to ignore the three's chattering.

"What are you three yelling about?"

Chrollo stands from his seat on an elevated floor above them. He even looks down from his book at them.

Feitan and Phinks, both equally annoyed, sigh out in exasperation.

"Hisoka says he has problem." Feitan answers, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"He's just whining. He's the newbie so he'll just have to deal with it." Phinks says while walking past Hisoka.

"What is this problem, Hisoka?" Chrollo asks, luring the attention of Machi and Shalnark who appear from the corner of the warehouse.

"Yeah Hisoka, what's your deal?" Shalnark asks.

Hisoka runs a hand through his hair. "This place is just so… filthy. How do you even manage to pick the treasure from the trash?" He crosses his arms.

"Trash?!" Phinks spats in Hisoka's direction. "What do you mean trash?! We stole all this stuff, most of it could be pawned for millions!"

"Are you telling me that those trash bags on the floor over there is treasure to you? What about the half eaten sandwich that's been on the floor over there for a week?" Hisoka points in the direction of a moldy ham and cheese sandwich flattened on the concrete floor just a few yards away.

"...Excuse you, those "trash bags" are Feitan's clothes. I'm not finished with them yet."

Feitan looks at Machi with a fairly confused expression.

"...You make my clothes out of trash bag?"

Machi nods. "You told me to make them out of something waterproof. Trash bags are waterproof."

Phinks snorts. "do you draw skulls on them with sharpies?"

Machi ignores Phinks's comment and crosses her arms.

"That isn't the point here." Hisoka says with a smirk. "The point is: You're hoarders."

Each of the spiders' heads snap to Hisoka.

"Hoarders? We're not hoarders we're thieves!" Phinks yells back at Hisoka.

"Thieves who steal from the dump." Says Hisoka. "I myself would respect that if it was at least tidy in here."

"Hey! We have more stuff than you have ever had in your entire childhood!" Phinks replies, turning to him to take a few steps towards him.

"...My clothes made out of trash bag?"

Feitan is ignored by Phinks, as he is interrupted and spoken over by Phinks's yelling.

"Ah~" Muses Hisoka as Phinks draws closer to him. "Is that what its for? To make up for what you all didn't have in Meteor City?"

Phinks raises a nonexistent eyebrow and clenches his fist tight. "You're testing me…"

"H-Hey… shouldn't we flip a coin or something?" Asks Shalnark with a nervous grin.

Chrollo crouches and snaps his book shut. "No." He looks around at the towers of useless trash around him. "I do suppose that he has a point."

"Are you suggesting that all of this is trash, Boss?" Asks Phinks, backing off from the smiling Hisoka.

Chrollo sighs. "...No. But we could be a bit more organized…"

The troupe members exchange worried glances.

* * *

The next morning, the famous Phantom Troupe spent most of their time organizing their "treasure" into neat piles which they stacked in the back of the room. None of them dared to throw any of the items in the room that Hisoka claimed was trash away, and from time to time he'd sneak a few banana peels out the window.

Hisoka, who at first believed it was a long tangled hair, pinches a ball of thread off of the dusty floor. He went to throw it out of the window along with all of the other trash he found, but it was suddenly snached from his hand.

Machi glares at him from behind, the thread in hand.

"Dont. Touch. My. Thread. Clown!"

Meanwhile, Feitan is at the top of one of the towers of things, stacking glass cylinders filled with red eyes. Kortopi is behind him caressing one of the many glasses, staring back at the crimson irises.

Feitan looks back at him while Kortopi whispers to him.

"Sometimes I stare at these for hours…"

* * *

Kurapika's eyes dart from the book in his hands, his vision blurs red.

"I sense a disturbance."


End file.
